A secret relationship could seem exciting at first, but it can also become a burden to keep the secret. There are legitimate reasons for not telling anyone about a relationship. At some point, the burden of secrecy will probably start to strain the relationship and you’ll have to decide whether not keep it a secret relationship.
One of the main reasons for having a relationship with someone secretly is because you worry what other people will think. Maybe your parents or friends would not approve of this person. You should really stop and consider why they wouldn’t approve before having a secret relationship.
Your family and friends really just want what’s best for you in most cases. Now and then there are situations where they just want to impose their will on you. But for the most part, they’re looking out for you.
Do they feel the person will hurt you, or doesn’t treat you right? Has that person given them reason to think the relationship might not be a good one? If they disapprove on those grounds, you can hardly blame them. In fact, keeping the relationship a secret hints that you might not disagree completely.
It could be that you just don’t want to hear their protests. But it also could be that you know they’re not entirely wrong. Otherwise, why not have the relationship out in the open and show them how wrong they are?
If they disapprove of the relationship for reasons that are petty or clearly based on their own issues, then you should ask yourself why you’re having a secret relationship at all. Things like thinking that your partner doesn’t have enough money or class, for instance, would be no reason to hide the relationship.
You may, out of a desire to not have to hear their complaints. But for such a narrow minded reason, you shouldn’t worry about keeping their minds at ease. If they don’t like your partner’s race or even sex, it can be simpler to keep the relationship a secret. But you shouldn’t have to unless you really want to.
Why not show them that you’re your own person and you’re proud of how you feel? By having your relationship out in the open, you’re being more true to yourself and your partner. And maybe you’ll even change their minds about what being a relationship means.
You might even be surprised to find some friends or family members don’t feel the same as the rest. Often, if a family or group of friends is against something, like an interracial relationship, you perceive each person as feeling that way.
But it could be there are a few who didn’t want to speak up and be different. Don’t be too hard on them for not standing up for you and what they believe in. They probably felt outnumbered and didn’t want to hear the arguments. And you’re in a secret relationship, after all, because you didn’t want to have to hear the protests either.
For more information on how to get your ex back or maintain your current relationship read about The Magic of Making Up system. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
Showing posts with label secret relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label secret relationships. Show all posts
Friday, May 8, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Secret Relationships Can They Work
Secret relationships sound exciting and adventurous, don’t they? Just having a secret is provocative, but when there’s romance and sex involved that makes the secret even juicier. Do you like know why secret relationships have such a big appeal, and that people wonder why you’re smiling all the time?
Secret relationships aren’t uncommon. But you should also realize that they don’t always work. In fact, having a relationship that’s a secret can put a huge strain on you as a couple. The odds of this type of relationship only lasting a short time are pretty high.
It can be more difficult than you think to go very long without talking about the relationship. If it weren’t secret, you would probably mention your partner throughout the day in casual conversation. Even just mentioning something you saw together or talked about would be a natural thing to do.
But in secret relationships, you have to keep yourself from doing that. You might find it on the tip of your tongue to talk about your partner and have to catch yourself all the time. Having to censor yourself several times a day can be quite a source of stress.
Add to that your partner’s feelings about having to do the same thing. Between the two of you, that can add up to a lot of tension.
There’s also the worry about being seen together. People in hush-hush relationships don’t have the luxury of going out go a great restaurant for dinner. They can’t go see the latest movie together, or walk down the road holding hands.
There are exceptions to this. If you’re keeping the relationship secret because you’re good friends and you don’t want people to know it’s become more, you can still be seen together. But you’ll have to give only appearance of friendship around others.
Some relationships are kept secret for that very reason. Friends have become more than that but dot’ want to “jinx” the relationship. Or they decide that their group of friends might not understand. And they think maybe keeping it a secret is a good idea in case things don’t work out. Then the friends would never have to know.
Many coworkers who start dating keep the secret for the same reason. Things would just be easier at work if other people didn’t know, both while it’s happening and in case it ends. And with work situations, such dating might be discouraged making the secret necessary.
But by keeping it a secret for those reasons, it’s as if you’re saying that it’s probably not going to work out. At least, you’re showing that you have serious doubts about it. How healthy does it seem to be in a relationship that you must believe won’t last, so much so that you’re keeping it a secret?
While the relationship might be thrilling at first and seem like an adventure, the best way to have secret relationships is with the understanding that they’ll only be secret for a short time.
For more information on how to get your ex back or maintain your current relationship read about The Magic of Making Up system. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
Secret relationships aren’t uncommon. But you should also realize that they don’t always work. In fact, having a relationship that’s a secret can put a huge strain on you as a couple. The odds of this type of relationship only lasting a short time are pretty high.
It can be more difficult than you think to go very long without talking about the relationship. If it weren’t secret, you would probably mention your partner throughout the day in casual conversation. Even just mentioning something you saw together or talked about would be a natural thing to do.
But in secret relationships, you have to keep yourself from doing that. You might find it on the tip of your tongue to talk about your partner and have to catch yourself all the time. Having to censor yourself several times a day can be quite a source of stress.
Add to that your partner’s feelings about having to do the same thing. Between the two of you, that can add up to a lot of tension.
There’s also the worry about being seen together. People in hush-hush relationships don’t have the luxury of going out go a great restaurant for dinner. They can’t go see the latest movie together, or walk down the road holding hands.
There are exceptions to this. If you’re keeping the relationship secret because you’re good friends and you don’t want people to know it’s become more, you can still be seen together. But you’ll have to give only appearance of friendship around others.
Some relationships are kept secret for that very reason. Friends have become more than that but dot’ want to “jinx” the relationship. Or they decide that their group of friends might not understand. And they think maybe keeping it a secret is a good idea in case things don’t work out. Then the friends would never have to know.
Many coworkers who start dating keep the secret for the same reason. Things would just be easier at work if other people didn’t know, both while it’s happening and in case it ends. And with work situations, such dating might be discouraged making the secret necessary.
But by keeping it a secret for those reasons, it’s as if you’re saying that it’s probably not going to work out. At least, you’re showing that you have serious doubts about it. How healthy does it seem to be in a relationship that you must believe won’t last, so much so that you’re keeping it a secret?
While the relationship might be thrilling at first and seem like an adventure, the best way to have secret relationships is with the understanding that they’ll only be secret for a short time.
For more information on how to get your ex back or maintain your current relationship read about The Magic of Making Up system. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
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