What can save marriage when everything seems hopeless?
Marriage is considered a sacred institution by most of the world’s religions. It is the foundation of the family, which, in turn, is the foundation for society. So, there is a lot of emphasis on saving a marriage.
But that doesn’t mean that marriages today don’t run into trouble. The changing roles of men ad women, financial pressures, and difficulties with children all make it hard to make marriages work.
So who do you turn to?
Perhaps the best place to look is the institution that values marriage more than any other – the church.
While a clinical psychologist or licensed family therapist will take an individualistic approach to marriage counseling, a pastor will focus on making the marriage work in a wholistic sense. Over all, this has a better chance of actually saving the marriage.
Why is a pastoral counselor better than a secular therapist?
A secular therapist’s education focuses almost entirely on treating individual psychopathologies. Even “Marriage and Family” designated counselors may have only one class or elective dealing specifically with couple’s therapy. Do you think this approach can save marriage?
A pastoral counselor, on the other hand, will be educated in how to bring couples closer together. With the exception of abuse in the relationship, they have the fundamental belief that once the vows are taken, the marriage is forever.
Some pastoral counselors have formal education in counseling. More and more seminaries are offering pastoral counseling degrees. But even ministers without a formal degree take classes and seminars in the subject.
If you don’t have a church home, you might have some difficulty finding a pastor to help you. And, you don’t have six months to establish membership in a church before approaching the pastor.
In this case, you can call various churches and ask them if they have any upcoming couples retreats where you can save marriage through these weekend seminars. Once you have established a relationship with a skilled pastor in these settings, you may be able to do follow up counselor with the same person.
A good couple’s retreat will help you deal with many different types of issues. There will be group sessions and couple’s sessions. You will also have time to work on questions individually.
Communication is a big issue at these conferences. If you can work on your communications issues, you will find that the other pieces of the relationship fall into place.
Sex, finances, and child raising are also addressed. The goal is to get you back on track in every aspect of your relationship. You don’t have to be on the same page going in, but the hope is that you will be when you leave.
Marriage is tough. Sometimes it seems like the relationship cannot endure. But, there are so many reasons to see if you can’t make it work. In this case, consider seeing if a pastor can save marriage.
For more information on how to get your ex back or maintain your current relationship read about The Magic of Making Up system. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
Showing posts with label save marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label save marriage. Show all posts
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Thinking Of Divorce Save Marriage With A Marriage Counselor
Are you thinking of divorce? Save marriage by seeing a marriage counselor. There are many therapists who say they do marriage counseling, but how do you know which ones are really good? This article will give you a checklist of things to look for in a family therapist.
First of all, you want to see what their credentials are. There are three basic classes of counselors.
The first is the Ph.D. or Psy.D. level counselor. These people went to graduate school for a minimum of five years and wrote a dissertation. In addition, they performed a minimum of 3000 hours of therapy under the supervision of an experienced psychologist. In order to legally call yourself a “clinical psychologist” the person must have a doctoral level degree. Ph.D.’s are often more academic in nature and tend to do scholarly and forensic work along with therapy.
Then there is the M.S.W. This means Master of Social Work. Social Workers are trained to apply social theory to specific situations. They can work in institutions or with individuals.
Finally, there is the M.S. or M.A. in Counseling. Often called a “Marriage and Family Therapist,” these people can only work with individuals or small groups in counseling situations. They tend to have 2 year degrees and may not have written a thesis. They have 1500 hours of therapy under supervision.
If you are using your insurance to cover your marriage counseling, your insurance company will probably direct you to an MSW or a Marriage and Family Therapist because they are less expensive.
Second, you have to determine what the price will be. Clinical psychologists tend to be the most expensive while Marriage and Family Therapists are the least expensive. Remember you are trying to stop divorce. Save marriage by finding the best fit not the most (or least) expensive professional.
Look at the per session cost as well as the overall cost for the expected length of treatment.
Often, therapists working in groups or non profit institutions will have a sliding scale fee based on a couple’s income. If you qualify, this might make counseling affordable when it otherwise might not be.
Third, you need to look at the policies the therapist has. Some of these policies include:
· What happens if you miss or cancel a session?
· Can you take a pre-planned vacation without having to pay for the session?
· Will the therapist accept calls outside of the normal session?
· Is there an alternative person you can call in an emergency?
A family counselor should help you put your family back together so that you don’t have split up. Saving your marriage should be their ultimate goal. If you don’t feel that you are in synch with your counselor, move on and find someone who can keep you from divorce and save marriage.
For more information on how to get your ex back or maintain your current relationship read about The Magic of Making Up system. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
First of all, you want to see what their credentials are. There are three basic classes of counselors.
The first is the Ph.D. or Psy.D. level counselor. These people went to graduate school for a minimum of five years and wrote a dissertation. In addition, they performed a minimum of 3000 hours of therapy under the supervision of an experienced psychologist. In order to legally call yourself a “clinical psychologist” the person must have a doctoral level degree. Ph.D.’s are often more academic in nature and tend to do scholarly and forensic work along with therapy.
Then there is the M.S.W. This means Master of Social Work. Social Workers are trained to apply social theory to specific situations. They can work in institutions or with individuals.
Finally, there is the M.S. or M.A. in Counseling. Often called a “Marriage and Family Therapist,” these people can only work with individuals or small groups in counseling situations. They tend to have 2 year degrees and may not have written a thesis. They have 1500 hours of therapy under supervision.
If you are using your insurance to cover your marriage counseling, your insurance company will probably direct you to an MSW or a Marriage and Family Therapist because they are less expensive.
Second, you have to determine what the price will be. Clinical psychologists tend to be the most expensive while Marriage and Family Therapists are the least expensive. Remember you are trying to stop divorce. Save marriage by finding the best fit not the most (or least) expensive professional.
Look at the per session cost as well as the overall cost for the expected length of treatment.
Often, therapists working in groups or non profit institutions will have a sliding scale fee based on a couple’s income. If you qualify, this might make counseling affordable when it otherwise might not be.
Third, you need to look at the policies the therapist has. Some of these policies include:
· What happens if you miss or cancel a session?
· Can you take a pre-planned vacation without having to pay for the session?
· Will the therapist accept calls outside of the normal session?
· Is there an alternative person you can call in an emergency?
A family counselor should help you put your family back together so that you don’t have split up. Saving your marriage should be their ultimate goal. If you don’t feel that you are in synch with your counselor, move on and find someone who can keep you from divorce and save marriage.
For more information on how to get your ex back or maintain your current relationship read about The Magic of Making Up system. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
Friday, April 3, 2009
How To Win Your Love Back And Keep Them
If you're looking around wondering how to win your love back, then you've no doubt found yourself in a situation where you're still in love with your ex, but your ex has walked out of the relationship.
Your first step to win your love back has to be to take some time out and get your head together. It would be a big mistake to try and win back your ex within days of the breakup, particularly if it has been a messy breakup. So make sure that you take some time to sort yourself out.
Your first thought should always be to look after yourself. That means avoiding your ex and making no contact with them at all. It's not going to be easy to go from being in a relationship with your ex to making no contact with your ex, but it is vital that you do. Contacting your ex makes you weak and puts you in a negative and vulnerable position. Particularly if your ex has asked to be left alone. Constantly calling or trying to see your ex means that you become less appealing to them. Exs hate needy and desperate, so back off if you want to win your love back.
Instead, work at sorting yourself our. As you focus on yourself make sure that you're not spending all your time on your own. It is very easy to find that when the love of your life walks out on you that you end up filling that space doing nothing but thinking about them. This is a surefire way to find yourself depressed and low and recovering from depression brings a whole other level of problems that you don't need.
Get out and about and reconnect with your family and friends. Meet new people and make yourself have some fun. Yeah, it's not going to be easy, but if it's the way forward to figuring out how to win your love back, then you have to do it.
As you slowly get back on your feet after the shock of the breakup, you should then begin to think about any role that you might have played in the breakup of the relationship.
It is very easy to blame your ex for everything that has gone wrong, but remember, it takes two to make a relationship and two to break that relationship. So during this time away from your ex as you work on figuring out how to get back with them, make sure that you are honest with yourself and that you claim any part of the breakup that is down to you.
Did you make a mistake that caused the break down of the relationship? If you did, then you need to figure out how you're going to rectify the behavior that led to the mistake and the eventual breakup.
Though some of the outlined steps might seem counter-intuitive, if you're serious about figuring out how to win your love back, they are steps that you must take.
For more information on how to get your ex back or maintain your current relationship read about The Magic of Making Up. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
Your first step to win your love back has to be to take some time out and get your head together. It would be a big mistake to try and win back your ex within days of the breakup, particularly if it has been a messy breakup. So make sure that you take some time to sort yourself out.
Your first thought should always be to look after yourself. That means avoiding your ex and making no contact with them at all. It's not going to be easy to go from being in a relationship with your ex to making no contact with your ex, but it is vital that you do. Contacting your ex makes you weak and puts you in a negative and vulnerable position. Particularly if your ex has asked to be left alone. Constantly calling or trying to see your ex means that you become less appealing to them. Exs hate needy and desperate, so back off if you want to win your love back.
Instead, work at sorting yourself our. As you focus on yourself make sure that you're not spending all your time on your own. It is very easy to find that when the love of your life walks out on you that you end up filling that space doing nothing but thinking about them. This is a surefire way to find yourself depressed and low and recovering from depression brings a whole other level of problems that you don't need.
Get out and about and reconnect with your family and friends. Meet new people and make yourself have some fun. Yeah, it's not going to be easy, but if it's the way forward to figuring out how to win your love back, then you have to do it.
As you slowly get back on your feet after the shock of the breakup, you should then begin to think about any role that you might have played in the breakup of the relationship.
It is very easy to blame your ex for everything that has gone wrong, but remember, it takes two to make a relationship and two to break that relationship. So during this time away from your ex as you work on figuring out how to get back with them, make sure that you are honest with yourself and that you claim any part of the breakup that is down to you.
Did you make a mistake that caused the break down of the relationship? If you did, then you need to figure out how you're going to rectify the behavior that led to the mistake and the eventual breakup.
Though some of the outlined steps might seem counter-intuitive, if you're serious about figuring out how to win your love back, they are steps that you must take.
For more information on how to get your ex back or maintain your current relationship read about The Magic of Making Up. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
Monday, March 30, 2009
How You Can Save Marriage By Creating Intimacy
When your marriage hits rocky waters you must firmly believe that you can save marriage in order to save the marriage. If you don't believe that as fact, then there is nothing you do that will make a blind bit of difference. So right now, believe that it is possible for you to save the marriage.
A common missing ingredient for marriages in trouble is a lack of intimacy. For a marriage to be happy there must be a level of intimacy that goes beyond the physical and wholeheartedly embraces the emotional. Ask yourself this, “does my marriage suffer from a lack of intimacy?”
Are you open and transparent with your spouse? Do you share and include or do you exclude and keep your emotions and emotional needs locked away and try and deal with things on your own? If you exclude your spouse emotionally, then your marriage lacks intimacy and it's time to inject some and get on the road to save marriage.
Make sure that you're making every attempt to share your problems and worries with your spouse. Too often people find themselves worried and preoccupied with a situation. Instead of sharing this situation with their spouse, they decide to try and deal with it on their own. This is a big mistake because it excludes your spouse when you should be including them.
Remember, spouses can very easily sense when something is wrong and if you exclude them, they quickly begin to feel shut out and redundant and that's when hurt can quickly find its way into a marriage.
Another way to inject intimacy into your marriage so that you can save marriage is to make time for your marriage. In this day and age when a thousand and one things can encroach on your time, not making time for your marriage is a surefire way for a marriage to hit trouble. It's no fun discovering that when you were busy carving out a career or focusing your time on attending to the kids, that your marriage just shriveled up and died.
Make sure that if you want to save marriage that you're actively making time for your spouse and your marriage. Once in a while take an impromptu afternoon off and have some fun with your spouse. When your spouse realizes that you value them to the extent of changing your schedule to include them, you will begin to see an improved difference in your marriage.
Creating and fostering intimacy in your marriage so that you can save marriage will take time and is an ongoing process. Don't ever make the mistake of allowing your marriage to be left set on auto-pilot. A healthy and intimate marriage is one that is attended to regularly, only then will it thrive.
For more information on how to get your ex back or maintain your current relationship read about The Magic of Making Up. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
A common missing ingredient for marriages in trouble is a lack of intimacy. For a marriage to be happy there must be a level of intimacy that goes beyond the physical and wholeheartedly embraces the emotional. Ask yourself this, “does my marriage suffer from a lack of intimacy?”
Are you open and transparent with your spouse? Do you share and include or do you exclude and keep your emotions and emotional needs locked away and try and deal with things on your own? If you exclude your spouse emotionally, then your marriage lacks intimacy and it's time to inject some and get on the road to save marriage.
Make sure that you're making every attempt to share your problems and worries with your spouse. Too often people find themselves worried and preoccupied with a situation. Instead of sharing this situation with their spouse, they decide to try and deal with it on their own. This is a big mistake because it excludes your spouse when you should be including them.
Remember, spouses can very easily sense when something is wrong and if you exclude them, they quickly begin to feel shut out and redundant and that's when hurt can quickly find its way into a marriage.
Another way to inject intimacy into your marriage so that you can save marriage is to make time for your marriage. In this day and age when a thousand and one things can encroach on your time, not making time for your marriage is a surefire way for a marriage to hit trouble. It's no fun discovering that when you were busy carving out a career or focusing your time on attending to the kids, that your marriage just shriveled up and died.
Make sure that if you want to save marriage that you're actively making time for your spouse and your marriage. Once in a while take an impromptu afternoon off and have some fun with your spouse. When your spouse realizes that you value them to the extent of changing your schedule to include them, you will begin to see an improved difference in your marriage.
Creating and fostering intimacy in your marriage so that you can save marriage will take time and is an ongoing process. Don't ever make the mistake of allowing your marriage to be left set on auto-pilot. A healthy and intimate marriage is one that is attended to regularly, only then will it thrive.
For more information on how to get your ex back or maintain your current relationship read about The Magic of Making Up. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
PULL It Together - Help Save Marriage
Those who want help save marriage from ending in divorce need to PULL it together. It is a hard thing to watch a marriage that was once so precious and important fall apart. It's heart breaking to sit by as the two of you start going your separate ways. If you don't want that to happen then do something about it. Pull it together to help save marriage.
Chill out:
Take a moment to catch your breath and step back from the situation. Not necessarily take a break from it but to just calm down. It is easy for things to get over-heated. Take a moment to catch your breath and give it a moment to cool off. When you were young you were probably told to count to 10 when you got angry so that you could give yourself a chance to get yourself under control.
The same principle applies here. Before you do anything else, take a breath. The next time something is said to you that makes you mad, calm down, get a hold of yourself and then let go of your anger. Only then can you truly learn how to communicate and take the next step to help save marriage.
Understand what is happening:
While you are “chilling out” and taking a moment to breathe, take a look at what is happening. This is where you try and look at the big picture and then look at things from other perspectives. From where you are standing at the moment things may look pretty bad. Try to look at it from other perspectives and it might not be as bad as you thought.
Try looking at it from an outsiders perspective and from the one you love. From those other perspectives you might find out why things have been getting out of control. There may be a relatively simple solution to help save marriage.
Laugh at yourselves:
This doesn't mean to make light of the situation but it does mean don't take yourselves so seriously. It is easy to make mountains out of mole hills. Things snowball out of control but when you are able to see what it was that actually made the snowball you may end up laughing at it.
It can be hilarious to find out how a minuscule thing can turn into something so huge when it didn't have to. It can be hilarious if you are willing to let it be. Many times when people go through a rough time they will say, “Sometime we are going to look back at this and laugh!” Why wait?
Look for ways to improve:
Once you have had a chance to step back and catch your breath and then been able to get some perspective on the situation, you can move on. When you have realized that at it's root, this situation or problems that you have been struggling with is really small and manageable you can get things on track.
The next thing that you need to do is commit yourself to finding a way to improve. If you are responsible for the little things that get blown out of proportion, then try stopping it. If you have learned that you overreact, then stop it. Improve the way you handle situations and everything else may just fall into place to help save marriage.
To help save marriage, PULL together and bring back what belongs together...the two of you.
For more information on how to get your ex back or maintain your current relationship read about The Magic of Making Up. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
Chill out:
Take a moment to catch your breath and step back from the situation. Not necessarily take a break from it but to just calm down. It is easy for things to get over-heated. Take a moment to catch your breath and give it a moment to cool off. When you were young you were probably told to count to 10 when you got angry so that you could give yourself a chance to get yourself under control.
The same principle applies here. Before you do anything else, take a breath. The next time something is said to you that makes you mad, calm down, get a hold of yourself and then let go of your anger. Only then can you truly learn how to communicate and take the next step to help save marriage.
Understand what is happening:
While you are “chilling out” and taking a moment to breathe, take a look at what is happening. This is where you try and look at the big picture and then look at things from other perspectives. From where you are standing at the moment things may look pretty bad. Try to look at it from other perspectives and it might not be as bad as you thought.
Try looking at it from an outsiders perspective and from the one you love. From those other perspectives you might find out why things have been getting out of control. There may be a relatively simple solution to help save marriage.
Laugh at yourselves:
This doesn't mean to make light of the situation but it does mean don't take yourselves so seriously. It is easy to make mountains out of mole hills. Things snowball out of control but when you are able to see what it was that actually made the snowball you may end up laughing at it.
It can be hilarious to find out how a minuscule thing can turn into something so huge when it didn't have to. It can be hilarious if you are willing to let it be. Many times when people go through a rough time they will say, “Sometime we are going to look back at this and laugh!” Why wait?
Look for ways to improve:
Once you have had a chance to step back and catch your breath and then been able to get some perspective on the situation, you can move on. When you have realized that at it's root, this situation or problems that you have been struggling with is really small and manageable you can get things on track.
The next thing that you need to do is commit yourself to finding a way to improve. If you are responsible for the little things that get blown out of proportion, then try stopping it. If you have learned that you overreact, then stop it. Improve the way you handle situations and everything else may just fall into place to help save marriage.
To help save marriage, PULL together and bring back what belongs together...the two of you.
For more information on how to get your ex back or maintain your current relationship read about The Magic of Making Up. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
Help Save Marriage My SOS Cry
“Help save marriage from falling apart!” comes the cry from many who see their marriage sinking quickly. You have been watching the ship you are on sinking but haven't figured out what to do to stop it. If you aren't ready to see your marriage sink into the abyss, you need help save marriage advice. You need an S.O.S. You need to learn to sacrifice for your marriage, you have to learn to open up and communicate, and you have to learn to simplify your lives so things aren't so complicated.
Sacrifice:
Many times those who are wanting help save marriage are really more interested in trying to get the other person to fix their problems. If you are looking at the other person as the root of the problem, take a close look at yourself. It may very well be that the other person is causing all the problems but you need to make sure that you aren't making matters worse.
Most of the time marriages fall apart because one or both of the people start getting selfish and feel that the world revolves around them. The truth is that if that is your perspective, the marriage is doomed. The two of you are supposed to be as one and this can not be if you are only looking out for #1. You have to be able to sacrifice parts of yourself for the existence of the marriage. It takes the two of you realizing that if you want to be as one, you may have to sacrifice yourself. The choice is simple, live as one or live as two people.
Open Up:
There is a tendency that many people have to bottle things up when we are stressed. This isn't healthy for any individual and it especially isn't healthy for a marriage. When contents are under pressure for too long and that pressure grows, things are likely going to build up too much. When thing build up too much they may reach the point that there is an explosion.
There may have been firecrackers going off when the two of you first kissed. It is nothing like the Nuclear Bomb that could go off when you have let things stay bottled up for two long in a marriage. The longer you wait to bring resolution or to communicate problems, the bigger the explosion will be. You need to open up a bit to take off the pressure and help save marriage.
Simplify:
We have a tendency to make things a lot more complicated than what they need to be. We make big issues out of little ones and mountains out of mole hills. Blowing things out of proportion is something that many who need help save marriage will do that makes things worse than they need to be.
Consider what it is that you really need to have in a mate. What is it you really need to exist. Try and simplify it as much as possible. Stop looking at all the details and try to find the root of the problems.
Are you making too many demands? Are you being too picky about how you think things should be? Are you expecting too much?
Take a step back and consider that you may be making things more complicated than they need to be. Simplify and you just may be able to help save marriage.
For more information on how to get your ex back or maintain your current relationship read about The Magic of Making Up. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
Sacrifice:
Many times those who are wanting help save marriage are really more interested in trying to get the other person to fix their problems. If you are looking at the other person as the root of the problem, take a close look at yourself. It may very well be that the other person is causing all the problems but you need to make sure that you aren't making matters worse.
Most of the time marriages fall apart because one or both of the people start getting selfish and feel that the world revolves around them. The truth is that if that is your perspective, the marriage is doomed. The two of you are supposed to be as one and this can not be if you are only looking out for #1. You have to be able to sacrifice parts of yourself for the existence of the marriage. It takes the two of you realizing that if you want to be as one, you may have to sacrifice yourself. The choice is simple, live as one or live as two people.
Open Up:
There is a tendency that many people have to bottle things up when we are stressed. This isn't healthy for any individual and it especially isn't healthy for a marriage. When contents are under pressure for too long and that pressure grows, things are likely going to build up too much. When thing build up too much they may reach the point that there is an explosion.
There may have been firecrackers going off when the two of you first kissed. It is nothing like the Nuclear Bomb that could go off when you have let things stay bottled up for two long in a marriage. The longer you wait to bring resolution or to communicate problems, the bigger the explosion will be. You need to open up a bit to take off the pressure and help save marriage.
Simplify:
We have a tendency to make things a lot more complicated than what they need to be. We make big issues out of little ones and mountains out of mole hills. Blowing things out of proportion is something that many who need help save marriage will do that makes things worse than they need to be.
Consider what it is that you really need to have in a mate. What is it you really need to exist. Try and simplify it as much as possible. Stop looking at all the details and try to find the root of the problems.
Are you making too many demands? Are you being too picky about how you think things should be? Are you expecting too much?
Take a step back and consider that you may be making things more complicated than they need to be. Simplify and you just may be able to help save marriage.
For more information on how to get your ex back or maintain your current relationship read about The Magic of Making Up. It comes with a 60 day money back guarantee.
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